So, I thought I would sign up to do blogs on here since I don't really use Myspace much anymore, and Facebook doesn't really have an area to blog. So, here it goes. I hope I can be more consistent on writing/blogging than I have been recently.
There's been a lot on my mind lately. Hopefully this will help get things off my mind and onto something else tangible so I don't have to think and worry so much about stuff.
Let me start by saying how much I love my life. I love being a mother. This is by far the most important, the best, the most amazing, the most challenging, and most rewarding thing I have ever done. I still can't believe I played a part in making this little person who so affectionately calls me "Maama." He's an amazing child. He's everything I dreamed he would be and more. I love him with every ounce of my heart and soul. I would and will do anything and everything for him. He has changed me so much and impacted my life so greatly. I was born to be his mother. I couldn't imagine doing anything else with my life right now.
I finally was able to fulfill my life's dream of being a stay at home mom in October. It's been a great experience. Some days are harder than others. It is everything I imagined it would be and more. I love it. I wouldn't change it for anything. I know some people who stay home and would rather be working, and I know some people who work and would never even want to stay home. I am not this person. I love being home. I feel like this is what I was born to do. To be a mom. I feel like I am contributing more to the world than I would be if I was working outside the home. It's a great job, but I know it's not for everyone. It is for me though, and I love it.
The most challenging part of becoming a stay at home mom was because I become a stay at home mom at the same time as Jeremiah left to start basic training in Georgia. So, I had to learn to be a single mom. This was a challenge. Especially considering I had never lived on my own before. I live with my family until I was 20, then I married Jeremiah. I have never had to be completely on my own. I learned a lot about myself. The most important being, I am stronger and braver than I ever imagined I was.
So, there's a lot of confusion from everyone about what is next for Jeremiah as far as the military is concerned. He has a lot of training left before he can really do anything. The next phase of training will be OCS (Officer Candidate School). We haven't talked really much about this. I think we both haven't talked much about it because we want to be sure of what is happening before we tell everyone. As it stands right now though, unless something happens, Jeremiah will be leaving for OCS the second week of June. This part of the training will take approximately 8 weeks. After this he goes for his specialized job training and that training can take as long as 27 weeks. Again this is new info, and we aren't 100% sure he is leaving in June, but it is looking that way. We will know more in a few weeks.
This has to be done to further his career in the military, for our family to be supported, and for us to do things that require more income and more stability (ie, more children, purchasing a home). I'm not really looking forward to being a single mom again, but this isn't forever, and we'll get through this.
Also, on my mind is something very sad. We have a pair of very close friends that have been married about as long as we have. They are currently going through a separation and look as though they are headed for a divorce. This is sad on so many levels. It hurts to see this happening. I hurt for both of them. I hurt for the children. It's also going to be challenging to find out the best way to still be friends with both parties. I hope this is possible since they are both great friends, but I'm worried it won't be. I pray and hope that God's will be done. I pray and hope that things can be resolved, that things can be healed, and that things can made anew. If not, this will probably prove to be an extremely messy, long, and painful divorce for everyone. I hope this doesn't happen, if only for the children.
As I wrap up this first blog, the last thing currently on my mind right this minute is something that will come as no surprise to many of you. Baby fever. I am really looking forward to having another child. I am really looking forward to being pregnant again. I know I had one of the hardest pregnancies and labors, but I look forward to doing this again. I know it will go even better a second time. I am excited to give Joseph a sibling. Baby fever definitely comes on faster and stronger once you already have one. Hopefully soon we will know more of what is going on career wise and be able to enlarge our family. I look forward to this.
So, that's about it. Yeah, there's a few more things in my head, but it's Joseph's bedtime, and he had a shot today and is having a not so good reaction to it, so it's time to put him down.