Monday, July 19, 2010

My Support System

The last week and a half has been a really tough, trying time for me. I've been frustrated over the situation that came about. I've been upset about having to be hospitalized and have yet another surgery. Having to do all this with Jeremiah's absence has just been icing on the cake (Okay, well not really. That is sarcasm).

I know the cliches that "God won't give you more than you can handle", "The only place to go when your down, is up." I've heard it all. It still didn't change the fact that I was angry about this all happening, and with terrible timing to boot.

Although these last 10 days or so have been hard (in every sense of the word), things are finally starting to get back to normal. Slowly but surely. These moments of doubt, and hardship really make me reflect on how blessed I am. Also, if I've learned anything during these 6 weeks of Jeremiah's absence it would be summed up in this order: I am stronger than I ever thought I could be, jealousy can destroy even the strongest of relationships in the blink of an eye, and hard times really show you who is truly your friend and who isn't.

The outpouring of love, support and help during Jeremiah's OCS time has been overwhelming. I've really learned who matters in my life, and who I matter to. I've also found out who I didn't matter to, and who I didn't have to have in my life. I am thankful for everyone who has touched my life during this challenging time.

I am also extremely grateful for everything that has been done for me and Joseph since I began being sick. The outpouring of love and help has really blessed my heart. I will never be able to appropriately thank those of you who took care of Joseph, who came to see my at the hospital, who brought us meals, and who picked up my slack for commitments I had to break. Thank you to everyone who visited, called, texted, emailed, and facebooked me. Thank you to Dawn and Kimmy for always keeping Joseph first and foremost and making sure he was fed and loved. I can't even begin to thank everyone by name, but know that so many of you have touched my life and my heart, and your kindness and generosity will never be forgotten.

Although I am not anywhere close to being back to my old self, or completely healed, I am on the road to recovery. I know that I have to put Joseph and my health first, before anything else. That's been difficult for me because I hate breaking promises and not following through with things. But, I am trying, because I see the big picture and know what has to be done.

So, thank you again for everyone who has helped in any way. Thank you for everyone's cards, well wishes, and most importantly prayers. I belong to a strong church family, and I am so thankful that I do. I also have the most amazing friends and family that anyone could ever ask for. I only hope that someday I can bring some blessing to your lives measurable to the blessings you have given me.

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