Let me start by saying this, I trust God completely. I know He's faithful. I know He provides. But, I'm a pessimistic, doubtful human. Sometimes I wonder this exactly, 'Am I living it right?' Are we following God's path, His plan? Are we where we are supposed to be? Are we on the right course? This song and has summed up my feelings to a T. Please take a minute to listen and read the lyrics.
I'm sure I'm just feeling pessimistic with Jeremiah leaving. Don't take this wrong. I am proud and happy that my husband is serving our country. I am aware and accepting of the sacrifices that we've experienced and will continue to experience throughout this military career. In all honesty I believe these hardships and difficulties have aided in forming the person I am today. I am a better wife and a better mother, and I think too, a better sister, daughter, and friend.
I guess it's only natural to doubt things once in a while. I really think God has steered us to this career path. I really believe God's hand is in this. It's just hard to sometimes remember that during the sad/hard moments. But I guess these feelings of doubt keep us all on our toes. That way we don't get too comfortable and end up NOT 'living it right.'
Jeremiah and I both seem to find a song during each of these absences that is our anthem, or motivator or just a soundtrack to the current situation. I think this John Mayer song is mine for this duration.