Sunday, March 13, 2011

My Ailing Body

Yes, I'm sick. Yes, again.

I guess it should be par for the course, but here I'm thinking I'm doing so many better things for my body and then I'm knocked backwards.

This happened the very first time I ever tried to lose weight. While we were living in Colorado I had lost about 18lbs or so, and I contracted viral meningitis. I was hospitalized for a short period and then spent weeks recouping to get back to a less than normal me. Of course this meant I couldn't workout, and I began eating out of necessity instead of eating for my health (I ate whatever was easiest and required the least amount of effort to make or eat - mostly fast food or highly processed foods). I put on the weight I loss plus some by the time I had recovered. Not to mention I was put on a medication with a steroid at the time, which can make you balloon up as well.

So here I am, 31lbs down, and having the same symptoms as I had before. And here I am post hospital discharge trying to regain my normal routine and slip back into my life. This time is harder, I don't have another adult living with me and instead of an adult who could offer help I have a toddler who is also dealing with being sick (just a cold thankfully).

I am not allowing myself to slip into the rut I did last time. I know that as I approach a normal weight/height ratio my body will be healthier and stronger and I have to keep my eye on that goal. This bout of it seems less severe than my first bout or maybe it's just because I've done it before. They also didn't prescribe quite so many "fun" drugs knowing that I would be single parenting a toddler during my recovery. Perhaps that lucidity has an affect on my recovery as well.

I just want to be healthy. I just want to be able to have my body perform the way it should. The weight isn't winning the battle this time. I might be out from the working out for a bit, but I am not putting that weight back on.

For those of you who pray please keep us in your prayers. It's hard to run a household, make meals, care for a toddler when I can only hold my head up for so long at a time. Tonight will be my third night home, and I feel myself getting stronger. In fact my plan is try and create some assemblance of normalcy for Joseph by trying to make dinner, give him a shower, and do his regular bedtime routine.

1 comment:

  1. I just feel so sorry for what you have to deal with. I know exactly how you feel. I myself has some days in bed wishing the body would work the way it should. I too have had to find what was fast. The good thing is we got a grill this weekend and that it easy to make high protein food. The reality is you need help. Ask for it. Recovery will take some time. Meds can and will make you puffy, but is necessary for recovery. That stinks. You are in my prayers and an I pray you get help and support needed. Remember to ask! <3