Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Gross Negligence

As a parent and also as someone who is trying to expand her family, I will never understand people blaming their children for their own personal short-comings or failures in life.

Let's start from the beginning, unless you were in a situation where you were raped in some way, the creation of a child is the end result of having intercourse. If you could not handle the responsibilities of such an adult action like intercourse, you should not have been having it. If you were raped this does not apply in any way to you.

Yes, I know there are exceptions when force and violence are used, but if you conceive a child through this method, there are options for you to give your child up to a loving home (where in most cases the new family cannot have their own biological children for some reason). But I'm not talking about those who were raped. I'm talking about the people who knowingly committed a grown up behavior and now do not want to deal with the work and sometimes sacrifice that comes with raising a child.

If there is a doubt in your mind as to whether you want or can raise a child you conceived, please, give it up for adoption. No child will grow unscathed in a home where it is clear that they are not loved, cherished or wanted.

My buttons were really pushed today when I saw someone on facebook had posted a status similar to this: "I've come to the realization that I will be alone forever because no one will want to put up with my son."

Wow? Really?!? First of all it's his fault that you conceived? It's done. It's over. You made him. Now love him. You are obviously not with his biological parent for whatever reason and I see no way why this is his fault. Secondly, if you aren't with his biological parent anymore, your focus should be on raising him. Any romantic relationship you want to have should be second to his well being. To blame him for romantic short comings on your behalf is shocking and disgusting. It makes me worry for this child and everything else he is probably blamed for that is completely out of his control. He obviously has behavior problems, which I have no doubt could stem from being in a home where he isn't wanted and made the scapegoat for your failures.

This really ticks me off. Here we are a stable family and we are trying to add on to our family. Why do these people get pregnant so easily that should in no way shape or form be privileged enough to have children? They are not ready for all that will be needed to raise a child and they are more concerned about themselves than anyone else in the world. We would cherish and love another child. It bothers me so much when I see people treat their kids this way. It's heartbreaking and unfair. And any mother that thinks she can treat her child this way and it not be tantamount to child abuse is seriously out of her mind. That poor child is going to grow up with such a skewed view of what being a loving parent and having a child should look like. No doubt that the foundation is being laid for this child to abuse his kids some day.

I'm not saying I'm a perfect Mom. I know I'm not. But I do know that I do my very best to make my child feel loved, cherished, and wanted each and every day of his life. I make mistakes, every Mom does, but I would NEVER in all my life blame my child for my inability to maintain a normal adult relationship. I would NEVER in all my life blame my child for something that he has absolutely no control over, like my life.

I think it's time to grow up and step up. If you don't want the responsibility of being a parent then give your child to someone who does.

No comments:

Post a Comment