I did have many reservations about today's appointment. I know in my last blog I had written about how the spotting had finally stopped, but it started up again yesterday and was still going on this morning. I figured the worst was happening and I tried to prepare myself and my husband for what I assumed was inevitably happening.
I didn't sleep well with so much going through my mind and I woke well before my alarm was set to go off this morning. I wasn't looking forward to today's appointment, because I was afraid that everything was about to come crashing down.
When I saw the OB she was concerned about the spotting and the fact that I was still experiencing strong cramping (even though it was mostly right sided). She was convinced based on my history of miscarriage, along with the finding of the placental bleed 10 days prior in the ER that I was more than likely miscarrying. She checked my cervix and found that it was still closed and not dilated at all. She wanted me to have STAT labs and ultrasounds done, but she seemed confident that I was indeed miscarrying. I did find out that my BETA HCG when drawn at the earlier appointment (6w2d) was over 20,000. I saw that as a glimmering hope, because my first HCG with Joseph (at 7w) was only 1200. She had me sign a release in case I would need a D&C for her next surgical day which was Tuesday. She explained she just wanted to have everything in order in case the worse was happening that way there would be no delay in my treatment.
I left the office deflated, and probably looking like a zombie. I had packed extra things for Joseph to play with in case I had to be there longer than just a normal appointment. We headed down to the lab and ultrasound. Somewhere in between I called Jeremiah to let him know what was happening and to be prepared.
I had to drink about 3 bottles of water before my ultrasound. The baby or my body or a combination of the both did not like this idea. So, just as I finished drinking all the water I was supposed to, I was in the bathroom hurling it up trying to keep a 3 year old at bay that "wants to see Mommy frow (throw) up!"
They did two different types of ultrasound. First was the abdominal over the tummy type ultrasound and second was a trans-vaginal (which is just as you would imagine). I tried to get glimpses of the screen to see if I could see any signs of life, but I just couldn't see anything. By this point, 45 minutes in and my hands over my eyes just waiting for this part of my nightmare to be over, I heard the ultrasound tech's voice. I opened my eyes and allowed them to adjust to the darkened room, and heard her repeat the phrase that she had said already once, but my brain wasn't apply to comprehend. "Here's your baby. And there's the heartbeat." Those were the words she said as she pointed out my indistinguishable blob on the screen. I was astounded. The doctor had prepared me for seeing no cardiac activity, so to see this little heart flickering on the screen and to be told it was strong at 153 beats per minutes, was miraculous.
I called the doctor's office a little while ago to get the rest of the test results. Even though the doctor expected no cardiac activity for the baby, and my hormone levels to have dropped the opposite happened. The baby has strong cardiac activity, and is measuring right on schedule for size. My hormones are increasing (although I forgot to get an actual number). My cyst and placental bleed have not changed, but that's good news too. They aren't getting worse and that's what we were concerned about.
Here's a picture of our little, strong baby: