Thursday, June 28, 2012

OB Appt. (30w5d) and a Mini Pity Party

Today was my 30 week checkup.

Everything seems to be progressing much to the OB's happiness. My BP was 99/74. Milica's heart-rate was in the 140's. I am measuring at 30 weeks.

I've not put on any weight over the last 3 weeks, but the OB did not seem concerned over it. I expected a couple more weeks of gain, but maybe my body has packed on enough. I read that it's common to lose weight towards the end of the 3rd trimester. The only concern I have is that PIH or pre-e can cause IUGR. I hope that isn't why I've not put on weight. But, I'm probably just being a worry wart.

I am doing well enough that I won't be seeing the OB again until mid-July where I will then be 33 weeks. We should be setting up weekly NSTs at that appointment.

Now, a small pity party from the very pregnant, very uncomfortable, Kathryn.

It's been no secret that pregnancy is not easy for my body. My body seems to rebel more and more with each passing day. I mean just look at the bleeding I sustained for weeks, the passing out, or the fact that this pregnancy has enlarged a ventricle in my heart. My body is not happy.

I've done my best to deal, remain as even keeled a pregnant woman can, and just "truck" along. But I must admit, I'm nearing the end of my very frayed rope.

This baby girl is more loved than any baby girl in the world, I can assure you of that. She was more planned for, tried for, hoped for, and wanted than any other pregnancy has ever been (with the exception of Joseph). With that said, I'm exhausted. I mean it. And I mean I'm exhausted by every definition and stretch of the word.

I know I'm reaching a point where most pregnant women are beginning to feel "done" and ready to get the show on the road. I understand. My feelings are compounded by this stupid BP medicine. I keep telling myself that there's only X amount of days until full-term, but then something crossed my mind today. If my BP keeps as stable as it was today the OB might let me get to my EDD before considering inducement. This is something I've hoped for and wished for, but thought would be totally out of the question. Now I feel guilty for wanting her to come sooner (at term) rather than later (at EDD).

The OB has me on an extended release pill for the BP. This means that I can't just cut a pill in half and play around until I find a dosage that works best for me. The dosage seems to come in 30mg increments. The 30mg was not enough for my body. My BP was still through the roof with that nice low dosage. So we doubled it to the next available dosage which is 60mg.

I noticed issues with the double dosage right away. My mood changed in many ways. I experience mood-swings that are not pregnancy related. The mood swings I have would make a lunatic look sane. On top of the mood changes I'm in a drug-induced exhaustion. The medicine is doing its job, lowering my BP. I feel like it's lowering it too much. Today's reading at the OB was 99/74. It's not been uncommon for the last week or so to see numbers on my machine of 90/50, 100/60, etc. My body is having a really difficult time dealing with the forced lowered blood pressure.

But as I'm reassured, it's better to be on the low side than the high side. I know that the really low numbers are what's making me feeling extra crap-tacular. When I start to feel really moody or really terrible I take my BP and it's really low.

I just wish we could find a happy medium. One that would allow my BP to be a little higher and still allow it to be in a safe range for Milica. No matter how much I complain my number one concern is now and will always be her thoughout this pregnancy.

I just feel like having a pity party. I think it's only fair given what's been going on.

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