Monday, January 30, 2012

9w2d

Baby growth info:
Your baby (now the size of a prune) has small indentations on his legs (soon to be knees and ankles!), and his tiny arms even have elbows that bend (how is that for magical?). Inside that little mouth, tiny buds of baby teeth are forming under the gums. His stomach and kidneys are kicking into gear, producing digestive juices and urine, and if it's a boy, his testes are making testosterone (how manly!).

Fatigue is beginning to really set in. I just feel drained constantly over the last few days. The bleeding is getting better (I think). There was only a couple instances this week. Hopefully this means that we're almost done with the bleeding.

Morning sickness is still here. I think it's getting a little bit better day by day. But in addition to the fatigue over the last few days I've been getting regular headaches. I read that both can be caused from the increase production of progesterone from the completed placenta (which is now solely responsible for hormone production).

These pictures were taken yesterday at 9w1d (but I was too tired to blog them last night).







Tuesday, January 24, 2012

8w3d

Here's the growth info for the baby this week:

Your baby, now the size of a green olive, has grown about an inch since last week. Tiny muscles are beginning to form, so while he might not be ready to pump iron, he's gearing up to move his arms and legs. It's still too soon to feel anything in your belly, but you might be able to hear something at your next checkup. Try listening for your baby's heartbeat via a Doppler device — that welcome sound should be audible anytime now.

Well, this week has brought more bleeding. With the exception of one episode last week it's been brown (which indicates old blood) and it's scant. But it's still here and it's still worrisome. It seems like I'll have it for a couple days and then nothing for a couple days. It also seems like on the days when I do have it, it will start heavier in the morning and get lighter and lighter throughout the day. From what I've read it's normal to have the bleeding with the type of placental bleed I have. From the research I've done it could be my body's way of "bleeding" out the hematoma and taking care of the problem. Nonetheless it's scary and I'll be glad when this part of this pregnancy is in the rear-view mirror. I'll be glad when I'm far enough along to feel the baby, I know that will give me the reassurance that our little one is still thriving inside.

My morning sickness is still in full swing. I've had it pretty strong for the last two weeks. I've actually not had it too bad today, thank God! That might have something to do with the fact that I skipped my prenatal last night and took a Flintstone's vitamin instead. But, if that's what I have to do to get some relief, then that's what I'll do. My husband is ready for the morning sickness to be done with as well. Anyone who's had bad morning sickness understands how much it impacts your life. I feel like I can't get anything accomplished. I worked through my morning sickness with Joseph (which I think is a great indication of how mild it was - there's no way I'd be working through this morning sickness).

Other than that I think fatigue is starting to hit home the last couple days too. I've been getting to bed earlier. Crazy pregnancy dreams have begun as well. And of course my BBs are still extremely sore. I also noticed yesterday that they are already leaking a bit. I leaked with Joseph, but I was much farther along. Our next OB appointment is February 6th. I'm hoping by then the bleeding will have stopped and the cyst will have dissolved. Continued prayers for our baby would be greatly appreciated.



Thursday, January 19, 2012

Doctor's Appointment & Ultrasound! (7w5d)

I did have many reservations about today's appointment. I know in my last blog I had written about how the spotting had finally stopped, but it started up again yesterday and was still going on this morning. I figured the worst was happening and I tried to prepare myself and my husband for what I assumed was inevitably happening.

I didn't sleep well with so much going through my mind and I woke well before my alarm was set to go off this morning. I wasn't looking forward to today's appointment, because I was afraid that everything was about to come crashing down.

When I saw the OB she was concerned about the spotting and the fact that I was still experiencing strong cramping (even though it was mostly right sided). She was convinced based on my history of miscarriage, along with the finding of the placental bleed 10 days prior in the ER that I was more than likely miscarrying. She checked my cervix and found that it was still closed and not dilated at all. She wanted me to have STAT labs and ultrasounds done, but she seemed confident that I was indeed miscarrying. I did find out that my BETA HCG when drawn at the earlier appointment (6w2d) was over 20,000. I saw that as a glimmering hope, because my first HCG with Joseph (at 7w) was only 1200. She had me sign a release in case I would need a D&C for her next surgical day which was Tuesday. She explained she just wanted to have everything in order in case the worse was happening that way there would be no delay in my treatment.

I left the office deflated, and probably looking like a zombie. I had packed extra things for Joseph to play with in case I had to be there longer than just a normal appointment. We headed down to the lab and ultrasound. Somewhere in between I called Jeremiah to let him know what was happening and to be prepared.

I had to drink about 3 bottles of water before my ultrasound. The baby or my body or a combination of the both did not like this idea. So, just as I finished drinking all the water I was supposed to, I was in the bathroom hurling it up trying to keep a 3 year old at bay that "wants to see Mommy frow (throw) up!"

They did two different types of ultrasound. First was the abdominal over the tummy type ultrasound and second was a trans-vaginal (which is just as you would imagine). I tried to get glimpses of the screen to see if I could see any signs of life, but I just couldn't see anything. By this point, 45 minutes in and my hands over my eyes just waiting for this part of my nightmare to be over, I heard the ultrasound tech's voice. I opened my eyes and allowed them to adjust to the darkened room, and heard her repeat the phrase that she had said already once, but my brain wasn't apply to comprehend. "Here's your baby. And there's the heartbeat." Those were the words she said as she pointed out my indistinguishable blob on the screen. I was astounded. The doctor had prepared me for seeing no cardiac activity, so to see this little heart flickering on the screen and to be told it was strong at 153 beats per minutes, was miraculous.

I called the doctor's office a little while ago to get the rest of the test results. Even though the doctor expected no cardiac activity for the baby, and my hormone levels to have dropped the opposite happened. The baby has strong cardiac activity, and is measuring right on schedule for size. My hormones are increasing (although I forgot to get an actual number). My cyst and placental bleed have not changed, but that's good news too. They aren't getting worse and that's what we were concerned about.

Here's a picture of our little, strong baby:




Sunday, January 15, 2012

7w1d

Here's the growth info for the baby this week:

Your baby is growing at an amazing rate — about a millimeter every day — and now is the size of a large raspberry. Your little berry is looking a lot less reptilian (even though she has webbed fingers and toes, her tail is just about gone) and a lot more baby-like these days, as her lips, nose, eyelids, legs, and back continue to take shape. Her heart is beating at the incredible rate of 150 times per minute — about twice as fast as yours! And even though you can't yet feel it, she's now making spontaneous movements as she twitches her tiny trunk and limb buds.

How am I feeling? Terrible. But I'm reassured that means the baby is in there thriving, and doing what it's supposed to do. I'm suffering from strong morning sickness. This week brought my actual first times of vomiting. And this morning sickness couldn't get done with soon enough.

It's amazing how terrible you feel when your stomach is off all day long. I have a hard time thinking of anything that I want to eat or drink because I'm so nauseous. But I have faith that this will pass in a few weeks, and I do know that it will be worth it in the end. This sickness has made me say that this will be my last pregnancy, my husband thinks I should wait before making that decision. But it's hard to think about doing this again when I feel so blah.

Anyone who read my previous post may be wondering if there is any update about the placental bleed or cyst. The only update I can give at this point is that the severe cramping and bleeding has stopped. I will see the OB on Thursday and I am hoping for some input and new information on these things then. I have been following the ER OB's advice and taking it as easy as possible (but being down with morning sickness makes that pretty easy advice to follow).

I will be sure to update after the OB appointment on Thursday.







Tuesday, January 10, 2012

6w3d

I've sat here for a while debating whether or not to write this. I have used this blog as an emotional outlet and for a way of keeping everyone updated about our lives and more specifically right now, our pregnancy. I guess part of me thinks if I say nothing, this whole thing might just go away and I never will have to think of it again.

Sadly, that's not the case. I need to get this out, I need to write this because hopefully it will give me some relief and take away some of the weight on my shoulders.

Let me start at the beginning.

Yesterday as you know was our first doctor's appointment. It went as smoothly as could have been expected for a 6 week prenatal visit. The doctor did give me one instruction though, if I had any bleeding to head directly for the ER. This instruction was given as a pre-emptive strike to my history of miscarriage. I explained to her that I'd not seen a drop of blood this pregnancy and was feeling well. She reiterated her instructions and went about the exam.

Late last night when I went to the bathroom I had a few swipes of blood tinged mucus. I was actually on my way to bed, and debated about just waiting to see if it was better by the morning, but decided to heed the OB's instruction and head into the ER. Joseph was sleeping and it was so late I just had Jeremiah stay home and I left on my own.

Over the course of the next several hours I was about to experience every frickin' emotion on the human spectrum of feeling.

When I first was getting ready and leaving the house there was a lot of doubt in my mind as to whether or not this was necessary. I didn't want to be wasting anyone's time, mine or the doctor's. I did have a brief moment of bleeding with Joseph that resolved as mysteriously as it started and I never saw a drop of blood again until delivery.

But as I started driving, my mind of doubt about whether this was neccessary changed to a mind of fear and loss. What if I was really losing the baby? What if this baby we have wanted, prayed for, waited for was losing it's small hold on life and slipping away? I began to cry. No. I began to sob. Within moments I couldn't even see and I had to pull over and gain my composure. I gained as much control of myself as possible and gently cried the rest of the way to the ER.

As I continued to drive I began to experience anger and frustration over this situation. Why? WHY?!? This is not fair. This is not fair. Why? Why can teenagers get pregnant and have a complication-free pregnancy and our family that can take care of and who wants another baby is having so many hinderances.

By the time I arrived I had most of myself under control, although I had set myself up for the worst news.

They immediately took me back and I saw a doctor within about 1o minutes. The plan of action was a speculum exam, bloodwork, and an ultrasound. The bloodwork was going to be completely useless though because they had nothing to compare the hormone levels to. They use bloodwork as a way to monitor the progression of the hormones that should naturally build up in your system as a pregnancy normally progresses.

My first stop was ultrasound. The tech, although doing her job, was not very compassionate. She turned the screen and would not even let me watch her do her work. She wouldn't tell me anything, good or bad. All I could think was that here was possibly my only chance to see my unborn baby before it completely slipped away and she won't even let me have this closure. I just layed there crying. There was nothing else I could do.

After the ultrasound was complete the doctor and nurse came in to do the pelvic exam. During my last miscarriage, when I went to the hospital my cervix was completely open. So, that was the first thing I asked as he was doing the exam. Much to my relief he told me my cervix was completely closed and not what you would see if my body was in the middle of aborting the baby.

The relief washed over me and I figured I was just experiencing what had happened at about 7 or 8 weeks with Joseph. My relief was short lived though.

The attending came in not long after to let me know that there were some areas of concern from my ultrasound. Firstly, he told me that the baby is the size they would expect for how far along I am and that it had strong fetal heart tones. But, there were some possible problems. Number one, I had a large cyst on my ovary. This isn't what was causing the bleeding, but it's something that needs to be monitored to be sure it doesn't get out of control. The part that he and the OB on call were most concerned about was a placental bleed that was picked up on the ultrasound.

He told me it was something that would have to be monitored by my OB and that it was just going to be a waiting game. He told me that many women can have this bleed and go on to carry to term without further complications. But he also told me that if this bleed doesn't resolve it can cause a lot of problems. I am now at an increased risk of miscarriage, pre-term labor, and placental abruption. Not only my baby's health, but also my health could hang in the balance.

Now, they did not do an ultrasound when I had bleeding with Joseph. So, it's completely possible I had the same condition and it resolved without further incidence. But unfortunately, there is no way to know. Now it's just a waiting game. A painful, nerve-wracking, waiting game.

There's nothing we can do to speed up the waiting part either. We have to see what my body does. We have to see if the baby is strong and will continue to develop and if the hormones will continue to increase.

Unless the bleeding gets too heavy or uncontrollable I will be at home. I will be seeing my OB mid-next week. The ER doctors gave me instructions to take it as easy as possible until we find out exactly how serious this is and what course of action may need to take place.

Please pray for our unborn child. This child is so wanted, and so loved. Please pray that this bleed absorbs and will no longer be a life-threatening concern to the baby. Please pray that this baby will make a healthy, strong debut this summer.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Doctor's Appointment! (6w2d)

Today was our first doctor's appointment. We are using a different OB than the one that delivered Joseph. So I was doubly nervous, not only for the sake of the baby, but also hoping I would like the doctor.

Everything went well. I really like her and she seems on the same page with me with my wants and concerns with this pregnancy.

She confirmed my pregnancy and my due date (September 1st). She didn't do a doppler or an ultrasound because she said it could still be too early and didn't want to put undue stress on me.

She did confirm that my uterus is enlarged to the size it should be for being 6w2d.

She wants me back in two weeks to check how I'm progressing hormone wise. She feels this is necessary due to my history of miscarriage. And if my cramping gets too severe or I have any spotting whatsoever she wants me in the ER. I've not spotted yet, but I did with Joseph so it's a realistic concern.

She also said we'd have our first ultrasound between 11-13 weeks.

She gave me a prescription for anti-nausea medication, but I am going to do my best not to take it. I would rather not take anything unless it's medically necessary and since I'm not vomiting and I'm still able to eat somewhat normally I don't see any reason to take something. I will be honest though, my nausea is worse now than it ever was with Joseph. I didn't even see a glimpse of nausea until 7 weeks with him and even then it wasn't as bad as this. I just think I'm going to be getting a lot of couch time for the next few weeks and taking it easy so it can pass naturally.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

6w1d

Here's the growth info for the baby this week:


Your baby is now about the size of a blueberry (and about 10,000 times bigger than he was at conception). Most of that growth is concentrated in the head as new brain cells are generated at the rate of 100 per minute. Your baby's mouth and tongue are forming as arm and leg buds sprout, and those little kidneys are getting ready to do their job (pee production and excretion).


Ten thousand times bigger than he/she was at conception! What an amazing miracle!!


I'm feeling good. I'm feeling pregnant. Which, what my friend Emma reminded me the other day, is proof that the pregnancy is healthy and progressing as it should.


Morning sickness has hit me pretty good the last few days. I've not actually thrown up, but I'm queasy a lot - for most of the day. I feel good when I eat and right after I eat, but other than that my stomach is off.


I'm exhausted. Joseph's been a good kid and allowed Mommy to sleep during his quiet time lately. I appreciate that to no end.


I'm experiencing a lot of pulling/stretching sensations in what I believe is my uterus. And I'm bloated (even though I've not gained weight - my pants are not truly fitting anymore).


Tomorrow is our first doctor's appointment. I am very excited. I am looking forward to hearing how the pregnancy is progressing, and finding out how the baby is doing. I'll be sure to blog tomorrow and let you all know how it goes. At our first appointment with Joseph we had an ultrasound, but this is a new OB and I'm not quite sure what to expect. I was further along with Joseph (1o weeks) too, so it might be too early for anything too fancy.


And according to big brother Joseph, the baby is a girl. He has decided we will name it Baby Girl Aberlich. I hope he's right about the baby's sex. If I remember correctly we're probably about 12 weeks or so away from finding out though.



Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Dancing in the Rain

I am happy.

And I'm finding joy in discovering those who truly care about me are happy just because I'm happy too.

It's the ones who can't dance with me and share my joy who are proving that they don't deserve a place in my life.

Thank you to everyone who has uplifted me in thoughts and prayers, shared in my joy, offered congratulations, and provided love and support recently.

If you can't share in other's happiness maybe it's time to evaluate what's making you so personally unhappy. Everyone deserves happiness, why not you?

I've been crying tears of joy. When can you honestly say was the last time you were able to do that?

Normally those who purposely set out to cause discord in my life would push my stress level and my blood pressure through the roof. But, you're not winning this time. I am happy and you are not going to rain on my parade. This baby growing inside of me deserves a mother who will protect it, and that's what I'm doing.

The time of judging me, my decisions, and my parenting abilities has to stop.

So, just know what you're doing is not going unnoticed. There's no reason for you to try harder to make your feelings known. They're known. And it's not for a lack of noticing, but simply that I just don't care.

Many years ago God placed a calling on my life. It's one that my husband has worked extra hard to be sure I could fulfill. Rest assured I'm doing what God called me to do on this planet.

Are you?

Miranda Lambert sings a beautiful song called Virginia Bluebell. It's one of my favorite songs. And I can't think of a quote to better sum up how I'm feeling about this situation than an excerpt from that song. "Umbrella in the rain, let it roll off your back. Weather what you can, realize what you have."

Monday, January 2, 2012

5w2d

I will try and do a weekly blog entry for those interested in following our journey to becoming parents again. I will do my best to post pictures weekly and not only inform you on how the baby and I are coming along, but also give you the medical info for a baby of the current gestational age.

Already I've been experiencing many symptoms. I didn't experience too much with Joseph (besides cramping) until about 7 weeks. So, the fact that I'm already experiencing so much gives me hope that this pregnancy is strong and will be successful.

So here's the medical info for where we are this week:
Your baby's jaw, cheeks, chin, eyes, ears, and nose are beginning to form what will eventually become one adorable face. In addition, her kidneys, liver, and lungs are developing, and her heart is now beating 80 times a minute (and getting faster every day). All this and she's still no bigger than the length of a nail head (about a quarter of an inch) from crown to rump!

I of course am a POASA. But I've stopped now. Who would have thought that your test line could be darker than your control line!

I'm feeling good. I'm tired. I'm peeing a lot. And of course my BBs are still pretty sore. I'm irritable and crabby. And I'm experiencing less cramps and more of a pressure feeling.


5w2d


5w2d

And Baby Makes Four!

It's with great excitement that we can finally announce that we're expecting!

I've written a detailed entry on my other blog tryingtocatchtheegg.blogspot.com

From now on I will post all my pregnancy related blog entries here. For my followers on tryingtocatchtheegg.blogspot.com I will be sure to post the links for you to easily navigate here if interested.